The sayings and doings of a happy world

Guess what? - life isn't as terrible as it sometimes seems when you're getting both checks rejected and your credit card is full so the Walmart person is putting your whole carefully, methodically, painstakingly, lovingly selected cartload of items back while you go cry of embarassment in the parking lot.
Life is actually a really pretty neat thing.
Life has things like going for walks in cool fall air.
Life has things like staring a little girl with big brown eyes and long brown hair straight in the eyes and saying,
"ok, repeat after me: God..." And having her say "...loves us!"...four times in a row.
Life is meeting another person in a similar situation as you, and having a good laugh over the awkward things that are part and parcel with being single and alone in church - the weekly "turn and greet your neighbor" fiasco that leaves you fidgeting madly with your bulletin...the not knowing where to put your eyeballs that is neutral and doesn't involve staring accidentally at anyone else...the moments where everyone who's gone to that church for a bajillion years breaks into laughter at a common church memory and you smile uncomfortably..all those joyous things.
Life is being told by someone you just met that someone else you barely know has "talked you up" to them...and pretending to be embarassed but really wanting to cheer.
Life is having the door opened for you.
Life is having to go into the little boys bathroom, sounding off at the top of your lungs that you're coming in and delivering half of your "this is not a playroom, wash your hands with soap and come out now" speech before you get in the door only to find a 3rd grade boy staring wide-eyed at you as he hastily zips his pants, surrounded by small children whipping water and pumping tree-size amounts of paper towels.
Life is finding a place to give back while knowing that you're the one who will really benefit.
Life is very, very good.

a dollop of inspiration

Borrowed in part from an intel commercial:

The most amazing thing you will ever see, you haven't seen yet.

That thing that grabs on and won't let go

Writer's are all inspired by different things and have different reasons for writing. I once read somewhere or other that writers write to help themselves understand better - that writing is a way of exploring ideas or questions, an attempt at finding an answer.
One of the things that for some reason inspires me or makes me need to write to find an answer is the idea of a single event changing a life forever. Something big or something that seemed insignificant at the time, that was so powerful as to make someone's life unalterably different.
Usually when I think of that I'm thinking of something terrible. Let's face it, there's no story in the happy ever after - it's what leads up to it that makes it worth telling.
And, too, I guess I'm thinking of the things that go unspoken - family secrets, shame, things every single person on earth carries with them and never speaks aloud.
I hope I don't sound creepy, or dark and troubled, because most people really don't think of me that way, I promise! But these are the things that stick in my mind.
So here are two songs that I've heard, one for years and one just recently, that I just can't seem to get out of the back of my writing mind - I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do with them, there's a concept there, a story waiting, but I can't seem to muster up the focus to bring them out and find the story in it. What do these songs say to you?

just to whet your appetite

Mealtimes were really Nellie’s time to shine. And by mealtimes I mean, the period encompassing two hours before and two hours after every meal.  About two hours before the meal she would start sitting in her chair, nose up and eyes down, reading her book with both ears open to pick up any gossip from the staff.

An hour before the meal she would begin to perch more attentively. When I set the table, it was never right, no matter what arrangement I made with her silverware be it knife on the right fork and spoon on the left, or fork on the outside right and knife on the inside with spoon on the left, or all three on one side or the other – Nellie always had to rearrange them. About 45 minutes before the meal, she would chirp,

“Why don’t you gimme my milk and water?”

“Well we’re not going to eat our meal for awhile still, we better wait so you can drink it with your food.”

“Oh.” Nellie would say, with a very large, single nod. A few minutes later,

“Why don’t you gimme my milk and water?”

It got to the point where, if I didn’t have any toileting to do or meds to give, I’d go sit on another wing and chat with the folks over there, just to hide from Nellie and her beverages.

As soon as I started taking the food out of the warmer and setting it on the counter to dish out, Nellie would start too.

“I’ll have small portions.”

“Ok Nellie, I remember.” I’d say. Such futility.

“Small portions for Nellie!” She’d say two minutes later.

“Yup I heard you, I’ll get you small portions Nellie.” I’d say again.

“Can you make sure I get small portions? I need small portions. I hope you gave me small portions…”

I’m sure you get the picture. What sweet relief when I handed her her plate of food!

She was rather particular though – if you hadn’t gotten that picture already – and each part of the meal had to be to her specifications. Small portions were a given, but her water glass had to be exactly three-quarters full, and her milk glass one-half. She had to have applesauce and not dessert, mainly because Hannah had applesauce instead of dessert. However if I did give her applesauce straight instead of giving her a dessert first and then having her reject it and demand applesauce, changes were 3 to 1 that she would ask for dessert instead.

She could have used the sugar.

One time I made the mistake of putting cheese on Nellie’s taco salad. Nellie, it would seem, did not eat cheese. So, I foolishly suggested that she remove it and put it to the side.

“You just take that away and give me a different one.”

“Well Nellie, you can just take the cheese off, just dump it to the side.” – as I carried three loaded plates across the room to other residents.

“Give me a different one, I can’t eat cheese, give me a salad with no cheese.”

It only took a few minutes for me to become wise to the fact that it would, indeed, be much faster and far less painful to just dump the entire thing and start fresh, cheeseless.

*******************************************************************

There was a woman who moved to my wing only a month or so before I left. Little Hillary tipped over in her chair and dozed off at all times and in all places. Nellie’s bossy old heart couldn’t stand this travesty against decency. From the moment Hillary joined us, Nellie was all over her –

“Why don’t you wake up and eat something? Why don’t you sit up straight? Why don’t you pay attention to your food?”

Oh yes. The joy of Nellie.

**********************************************************************

There is one Nellie-story that stands out clearly as far superior to the rest. It was in the evening, and Hannah and I were chatting at one of the natural-wood tables. She was repeating herself with joyful abandon, as usual, and I was enjoying myself testing out a different answer each time she asked the same question, just to see what other directions I could branch the conversation into. It was like one of those “choose your own adventure” books – verbally.

“Well you are a very nice girl, and I like you.”

“Thank you Hannah. I like you too.” I said with a smile. I patted her hand and got up, nearly plowing over Melanie. Melanie liked to wander back and forth all day long. She was nonverbal, and never ever toileted herself, but she was a great one for laughing. She was already laughing when I started talking with her, but I went ahead and asked her a few questions anyways, and she went ahead and giggled back.

“Bye Melanie. Bye-bye. Bye!”

Nellie wasn’t a fan of Melanie, for whatever reason. She was always shooing her away and usually I didn’t trouble myself about it since Melanie never noticed. But the day in mention I was in what you might call a mood, so I tossed an arm around Melanie’s shoulders and said,

“Nellie don’t be mean to my friend. Melanie is my friend and she’s here visiting me, and I am glad she is, so be nice to her.” I said. I was just turning back to Melanie, pleased as punch with the important lesson I had just imparted, when Nellie sat up as straight as her little hunched back would let her, tipped her nose up as usual and said,

“Well aren’t I your friend too?”

Hastily...

Hey friends: I've had such a lovely evening trolling blogs and listening to music and whatnot that I just had to share again:

First of all, this picture/words Made My Night. I love quotes, and I love words that are well-put-together, for lack of the correct term. This I got from Not Your Average Ordinary, who originally got it from the Bare Escentuals ad campaign. So Inspiring!
And, speaking of inspiration my three favorite songs at the moment are:
"My Own Little World" by Matthew West (hopefully these links work, if not, too bad for you you'll have to type it in yourself!)
"All in the Serve" by Michael W. Smith
and "Do Everything" by Steven Curtis Chapman - incidentally I think the video is a little silly for this one but the song is awesome, and the first video is spectacular due to both men being attractive, and the second video is mostly images from the movie which is absolutely on the must-see list of the universe. Just my opinions.
Anyways, now that I've probably burned my eyeballs out staring at my computer screen half the night (not to mention stuffing myself full of a delicious arroz con pollo dinner complete with garlic cheddar biscuits I made myself (with the assistance of my good friend Bisquick), I think I'll choose a movie or something, wash my dishes and work on my writing for a bit. Once again, happy evening all!

One of Those Lovely Things

Know what I like? Fall! and I am so happy it's here, and so incredibly happy that I got to spend about four hours of today out driving. Are the roads twisty, windy, crazily out of order and not the least bit like the city? yes. Was I utterly terrified of running over some poor little Amish family in their buggy, or plowing over a cow, or skidding off the road into a massive cornfield? yes. Was it absolutely beautiful, with the sun shining and the fields full of harvest and the trees just beginning to show their colors. Yes, yes, yes.

Also, I would just like you to know, that I started a book yesterday, and I am super excited about it. Not reading (Though I am reading one too obviously, because I'm never not - I'm reading Bleak House, mostly because I'm determined to, though it's been reasonably entertaining too) - I'm writing one. And it's different than my others, not a riproaring action filled plot to be found. It's about working with the elderly and my many hilarious, heart-breaking and life-changing memories of my three years as a staff member in an assisted living. It's hard writing it though, because real life often eludes the perfect phrase.

Oh, and that story I promised?? Not gonna happen till tomorrow. I got off work late and I am staaaarving to death.  Love you friends :)

This and That

Well I tried out a new Sunday School class today on the Armor of God, promises to be pretty great. And I finally did dishes, and cleared out my fridge - isn't it crazy how things sort of just drift to the back of the fridge until they take on otherworldy forms and you can't understand how they got so - well, like that! so fast?
I've been researching volunteer ideas in the area - there certainly aren't an abundance like there are in the cities, but hopefully I'll stumble across one or two that look alright.
Tell me, what do you like to do for volunteer work, or just to fill up your time if you've got any extra?
And what kinds of hobbies should I take up?
And, what should I have for dinner tomorrow?
ANNNNDDDD...stay tuned. tomorrow I will tell you a story. A tragic, traumatizing, terrible tale. Be here.

A Time for Speaking Honestly

Do you guys ever have those days where you just sort of envy the rest of the world, and all those people that have more interesting, lovely, engaging, exciting lives than you do?
Maybe it's just me.
Getting used to a new job is weird to be sure - and you know, it may not be what I want to do forever but I can certainly be thankful for the good experience it's giving me, and for the opportunity to BE employed and pay bills and have insurance and a million other things so many people are not able to have right now.
And my little apartment is certainly very nice now, with everything set up and the slightly crooked pictures I hung myself, and the little bits and things I brought from home and everything.
But doesn't it just seem like others have such cool things?  Other people have beautiful decorating styles, and great fashion senses, and a knack for crafts or drawing; other people are going to Europe or getting married or having babies. The last two days I've just been seeing and/or hearing about so many other peoples so many other neat events and doings. It makes me pouty with jealousy (yes, this is something that can happen to you!).
I tend to go through bouts of thinking like that - episodes of the green-eyed monster you might say, and my thoughts towards others and their achievments or life events are certainly more charitable when I'm feeling that my life is going well too! But in the end all the silly and overstated sayings are true - life is about how you see things, the willful decision to love it and everything about it from the sunrise to curling up under your blankets at the end of the day.
I make daily choices (sometimes staying steadfast and sometimes straying just a touch) to be happy, to be content and joyful and stay focused on every little lovely thing.
Like the cool air moving into my apartment as I read my Bible by light of the rising sun.
Like going out for lunch with coworkers.
Like seeing a few more red leaves everyday on the tree by work.
Like having a job where I get to go out and not sit in an office all day.
Like having a wonderful coworker I can ask my millions of questions without feeling dumb or in the way.
Like making whatever I want for dinner with no one to complain but me!
Like my candle that smells like cinnamon and warm apple cider.
Like having a Dad that calls me every night.
Like having a hand, however small, in making Jesus important in the lives of little kids.
Like getting to wear scarves again.
Like going for rambles through the nearby neighborhoods and enjoying the sun on my face and the breeze in my hair.
Like feeling at peace.

What reasons will you find to love your life today?

Thoughts Recently

1) Is there a point at which one has said "I just have one more question!" so many times that one simply falls over empty-brained?
2) If I watch just one more episode of this tv show (insert either Gidget or I Love Lucy) I bet my dreams will contain (insert either wild 70's music or black and white images).
3) To leave the dishes for tomorrow, or to not leave the dishes for tomorrow...
4) I had no idea one could wake up so early and lift weights every morning and still have such jiggly arms (jiggle jiggle)
5) If I go to Walmart one more time....
6) I looove my pink carnations and sweet pea pink candle, and who cares if they clash with my red couch!
7) Handsome young man...ooh another handsome young man...oh. another hick.
8) Reading the Anne books always makes my heart so happy
9)  The battle of the dinner...can I really hold out for dinner while I cook it all, or should I snack now...or eat a small dinner now and a big snack later...or a big dinner later and a little-ish snack now...oh dear.
10) I wonder how the people living upstairs managed to get a small elephant into their apartment.
11) What a lovely day for a walk....I love walking, and I'm so glad tha-what is that monstrous hill doing there?!
12) coffee...coffee...COFFEE!!!!
13) Now that I've had family stay, and sweated to death, and been chilly, and cooked, and cleaned, and had a good cry in it....maybe this apartment feels just the tiniest bit like it could be home.

When Misty Moisty was the Weather...

Not art, but a bit pretty and English-y, with the fog hanging over everything so lightly.

Surprise!!

Well one of my MN friends popped over for the weekend and guess what - I don't own a cord for my camera because I don't need one! Surprise!
The card actually slides riiiight into the nifty little slot on the side. So there you go.
In honor of finding this nifty little slot, I thought I'd share tons of random and not super exciting pictures with you - too bad for you!
This post's pictures are going to be related to my cooking adventures of late:

First dinner alone in the apartment

Me and Lucy having dinner in front of the tv - on the floor no less, since my couch was stranded at Slumberland for a week!

mmmm homemade Mexican

Best dinner ever. I was starving to death and it was like a gift of Heaven dropped down to me

So anyways, that's some cooking fun. I love cooking but I do it more on the weekends, because otherwise by the time I cook a meal from scratch on a weeknight I'm starving to death and ready to pass out before I can eat it!
so, there's that. Got any delicious recipes to share with me - not terribly complicated ones?? :) Have a great weekend friends!