just to whet your appetite

Mealtimes were really Nellie’s time to shine. And by mealtimes I mean, the period encompassing two hours before and two hours after every meal.  About two hours before the meal she would start sitting in her chair, nose up and eyes down, reading her book with both ears open to pick up any gossip from the staff.

An hour before the meal she would begin to perch more attentively. When I set the table, it was never right, no matter what arrangement I made with her silverware be it knife on the right fork and spoon on the left, or fork on the outside right and knife on the inside with spoon on the left, or all three on one side or the other – Nellie always had to rearrange them. About 45 minutes before the meal, she would chirp,

“Why don’t you gimme my milk and water?”

“Well we’re not going to eat our meal for awhile still, we better wait so you can drink it with your food.”

“Oh.” Nellie would say, with a very large, single nod. A few minutes later,

“Why don’t you gimme my milk and water?”

It got to the point where, if I didn’t have any toileting to do or meds to give, I’d go sit on another wing and chat with the folks over there, just to hide from Nellie and her beverages.

As soon as I started taking the food out of the warmer and setting it on the counter to dish out, Nellie would start too.

“I’ll have small portions.”

“Ok Nellie, I remember.” I’d say. Such futility.

“Small portions for Nellie!” She’d say two minutes later.

“Yup I heard you, I’ll get you small portions Nellie.” I’d say again.

“Can you make sure I get small portions? I need small portions. I hope you gave me small portions…”

I’m sure you get the picture. What sweet relief when I handed her her plate of food!

She was rather particular though – if you hadn’t gotten that picture already – and each part of the meal had to be to her specifications. Small portions were a given, but her water glass had to be exactly three-quarters full, and her milk glass one-half. She had to have applesauce and not dessert, mainly because Hannah had applesauce instead of dessert. However if I did give her applesauce straight instead of giving her a dessert first and then having her reject it and demand applesauce, changes were 3 to 1 that she would ask for dessert instead.

She could have used the sugar.

One time I made the mistake of putting cheese on Nellie’s taco salad. Nellie, it would seem, did not eat cheese. So, I foolishly suggested that she remove it and put it to the side.

“You just take that away and give me a different one.”

“Well Nellie, you can just take the cheese off, just dump it to the side.” – as I carried three loaded plates across the room to other residents.

“Give me a different one, I can’t eat cheese, give me a salad with no cheese.”

It only took a few minutes for me to become wise to the fact that it would, indeed, be much faster and far less painful to just dump the entire thing and start fresh, cheeseless.

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There was a woman who moved to my wing only a month or so before I left. Little Hillary tipped over in her chair and dozed off at all times and in all places. Nellie’s bossy old heart couldn’t stand this travesty against decency. From the moment Hillary joined us, Nellie was all over her –

“Why don’t you wake up and eat something? Why don’t you sit up straight? Why don’t you pay attention to your food?”

Oh yes. The joy of Nellie.

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There is one Nellie-story that stands out clearly as far superior to the rest. It was in the evening, and Hannah and I were chatting at one of the natural-wood tables. She was repeating herself with joyful abandon, as usual, and I was enjoying myself testing out a different answer each time she asked the same question, just to see what other directions I could branch the conversation into. It was like one of those “choose your own adventure” books – verbally.

“Well you are a very nice girl, and I like you.”

“Thank you Hannah. I like you too.” I said with a smile. I patted her hand and got up, nearly plowing over Melanie. Melanie liked to wander back and forth all day long. She was nonverbal, and never ever toileted herself, but she was a great one for laughing. She was already laughing when I started talking with her, but I went ahead and asked her a few questions anyways, and she went ahead and giggled back.

“Bye Melanie. Bye-bye. Bye!”

Nellie wasn’t a fan of Melanie, for whatever reason. She was always shooing her away and usually I didn’t trouble myself about it since Melanie never noticed. But the day in mention I was in what you might call a mood, so I tossed an arm around Melanie’s shoulders and said,

“Nellie don’t be mean to my friend. Melanie is my friend and she’s here visiting me, and I am glad she is, so be nice to her.” I said. I was just turning back to Melanie, pleased as punch with the important lesson I had just imparted, when Nellie sat up as straight as her little hunched back would let her, tipped her nose up as usual and said,

“Well aren’t I your friend too?”